Texas Fireball

Hick cowboys and Texas officials state that a fireball streaked across the Texas sky on Sunday morning. The Federal Aviation Administration does not know what it was or NASA for that matter. What they failed to mention is that grandma found the dern thing and is now fighting for her life in the quarantined basement of the Pentagon. Why can't we leave those damn cosmic germs in the desert where they belong. One thing that I've learned over the years, having a career in special agencies that don't exist, is that you don't go touching debris that's not of this earth.

Why is the cop wearing sunglasses to hide his eyes?
Who would want to live in the desert at this not-so-humble abode?
Why is this woman bleeding mascara from the eyes?

Things just don't add up is what I'm trying to say.